Category: Grief
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Top 7 Things NOT to Do After a Death
After my husband died, I felt well supported by my friends and family and members of the community, but I also had some unpleasant or awkward experiences. I truly believe most people have good intentions, but a recent death in my town reminded me of some of the “don’ts” I experienced:
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What I Learned About Grief From the Book “Future Widow”
I recently finished reading “Future Widow: Losing My Husband, Saving My Family, and Finding My Voice” by author and podcaster Jenny Lisk and can’t recommend this memoir enough to widowed parents, especially those who became caregivers to their spouses before they died. Lisk describes with honesty the often heartbreaking, daily challenges of caring for her…
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How to Make Christmas Suck Less When You’re Grieving…
Celebrating Christmas when your spouse recently died sucks. The first Christmas after my husband died, I clearly remember dreading all the associated festivities and socializing, but also feeling self-imposed pressure to somehow make the holidays feel extra magical for my seven-year-old daughter, who still believed in Santa, to try to compensate for having lost her…
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How to Make Thanksgiving Suck Less When You’re Grieving…
I can still easily remember how difficult the first Thanksgiving after my husband died was. When you feel like you have nothing to be thankful for, having to celebrate Thanksgiving sucks, plain and simple. “I can’t believe Daddy will be gone a month on Thanksgiving,” our seven-year-old daughter said the weekend before the holiday. I…
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Grief Advice I Ignored: Don’t Make Any Big Decisions in the First Year
A common piece of grief advice you hear after your spouse dies is that you’re not supposed to make any major decisions for the first year. On the no no list would be things like selling your house and moving; donating/giving away their stuff; quitting your job; and making a large purchase like a house…
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How My Daughter Grieved the Death of Her Dad
When my husband died, my grief had multiple layers: To start, I grieved for myself, having lost my friend and co-parent. But then I grieved for him, that he no longer had a future and wouldn’t get to see our daughter grow up. Finally, and worst of all, I grieved for my daughter, that she…
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How I Found Gratitude While Grieving
A turning point in my grieving process was when I read Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, six months or so after my husband died, during a phase of reading books exclusively written by widows. In the chapter on how to build resilience, Sandberg wrote the following about a…