Checklist for 3+ Months After
Just like with the 1-3 months after checklist, most of these tasks can be deferred if you’re not up to tackling them or if your finances are in good shape. For example, I just memorialized my late husband’s LinkedIn account, five years after he died. The only task you can’t defer for long, depending on the timing of your spouse’s death, is filing your taxes.
Download the pdf checklist of what to do after your spouse dies.
Grief Support:
Find a Grief Therapist (if Needed)
If you or your child(ren) need one-on-one support, beyond what a grief support group can provide, look for a therapist who specializes in grief. Psychology Today allows you to search for therapists on their website.
Taxes:
File Income Tax Returns
The IRS provides several tax breaks to widows and widowers. According to the IRS website, if you meet the requirements for the “qualifying surviving spouse” filing status, you can essentially pay the same tax rate as filing a “married filing jointly” return for up to two years following the year your spouse died. If your spouse died in 2024, these are the filing statuses that you would file:
| Tax Year | Tax Filing Status |
|---|---|
| 2024 | Married filing jointly |
| 2025 | Qualifying surviving spouse |
| 2026 | Qualifying surviving spouse |
| 2027 | Head of household |
A “widow’s exemption” is a reduction in tax obligations for a taxpayer after the passing of a spouse. State rules vary, but in general, a surviving spouse is entitled to a tax break for a period of time, often in the form of a reduction in property taxes. This Investopedia article explains the tax break in more detail. I file my taxes online using TurboTax.com, which prompted me to use the correct tax filing status, but I don’t remember anything about the widow’s exemption tax break. If you are not used to filing your taxes, you may want to consider hiring a tax professional. There are several organizations that will help you file your taxes for free.
Legal:
Choose a Guardian & Update Your Will
A big decision is to choose a relative or friend to be the guardian of your children, should something happen to you. Once you make that decision, you can create a will online in just a matter of a few hours using will software through companies like Nolo or LegalZoom. It’s a good idea to also choose a power of attorney and to complete a living will at the same time, although those can be done separately.
Update the Title of Your House
The laws may differ by state but, in Connecticut, I was only able to sell my house after the probate process was completed and I received a document from the probate court that allowed me to remove my late husband’s name from the title of the house. If you are looking to sell your house, ask your estate/probate attorney about the law and process in your state.
Administrative:
Change Utilities to Your Name
Contact your utility companies (electricity, gas/oil, internet, etc.) to change the bills to be in your name alone.
Cancel Subscriptions, Memberships & Prescriptions
Cancel or adjust any recurring costs. Many companies will credit you the cost if you didn’t remember to cancel in time and send them a death certificate. Reviewing your credit card statements should help come up with a list:
- Cell phone
- Medical prescriptions
- Membership fees, such as for a gym, Amazon Prime or Instacart
- Subscriptions, such as to an online newspaper or Google storage (which I am still trying to figure out how to cancel)
Cancel Driver’s License
The Bankrate website has instructions on how to cancel a driver’s license, which is important to do to prevent identity theft. Most, if not all, states eventually receive notifications of drivers who have died from their vital records department and cancel their license automatically.
Cancel Passport
Cancelling a valid passport is another important task to protect from identity theft. According to the U.S. Department of State website, mail the passport, a certified copy of the death certificate, and a letter requesting the cancellation and return (or destruction) of the passport to this address:
U.S. Department of State
Consular Lost and Stolen Passport Unit (CLASP)
CA/PPT/S/TO/LE
44132 Mercure Circle
P.O. Box 1227
Sterling, VA 20166-1227
Update Emergency Contacts
Update the emergency contacts for you and your child(ren) for your doctors, dentists, school, daycare, summer camp, etc.
Close Email Accounts
To prevent fraud and identify theft, close your spouse’s email account. The process varies by email provider, but they typically require a death certificate and proof of your identity as executor or a relative. Here are the processes for a few email providers: Google, Yahoo, Outlook or Hotmail. Microsoft and Google automatically close accounts after 2 years of inactivity, while Yahoo closes them after 1 year.
Close Personal Payment Accounts
To prevent fraud, close your partner’s personal payment accounts. The process varies by payment provider: Paypal, Apple Pay. Venmo doesn’t have a documented process for closing the account of a deceased user (that I could find); their website says to contact the Venmo support team.
Stop or Forward Mail
To stop or forward your partner’s mail, follow these instructions on USPS.com.
Delete or Memorialize Social Media Accounts
You can delete or, depending on the platform, memorialize social media accounts. Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn all allow a deceased user’s profile to remain online, marked as a memorial account. Snapchat, X (Twitter) and YouTube do not offer memorial options for a deceased user’s account. Since YouTube is owned by Google, the process to delete accounts involves contacting Google. TikTok doesn’t have a documented process for closing the account of a deceased user, so your best bet is to contact the TikTok support team.
Update Voter Registration
All states have a process for removing deceased voters from their voter registration lists, some more frequently than others, documented on the Voting Rights Lab website. Most processes run monthly, but you may want to proactively contact your state or county to find out how to remove your partner from their list.
Transfer Frequent-Buyer/Flier Accounts
If your loved one has frequent-flier or frequent-buyer programs, contact the company and see if the points can be transferred to you or another beneficiary. Some airlines allow this, at their discretion.
Financial:
Update Beneficiaries
Update the beneficiaries for all of your financial accounts, including bank accounts, retirement accounts and health savings accounts, and life insurance.
Claim Unclaimed Funds
Check MissingMoney.com to see if your spouse has unclaimed property or assets anywhere in the United States or Canada. When I found unclaimed assets for my husband in Connecticut, after filing an initial claim online, I then had to submit a death certificate, probate certificate from the probate court and notarized claim form.
Contact a Financial Professional
As you navigate putting your finances in order, you might find it helpful to seek the advice of a financial advisor, if you don’t already have one. I’ve come across some organizations that give free financial advice to widows and widowers.